Thursday, May 26, 2011

Ode To My Oprah!

Oh my Lord...what am I going to do at 4:00? For as long as I can remember my girlfriend has come to see me every day at 4:00! Bad day or good day....she always had something to say!

My Soul Sista Oprah!

I would get nestled in to my favorite chair everyday and this would be "my time" for me to soak it all in! I don't think there has ever been a topic she hasn't covered. In every question she's asked or guest she was always exactly what I wanted to know! Imagine that...she was reading my mind. It must be a broadcasting thing! I think personally is certainly because she is so genuine and real. The unique thing is that every time she speaks it's like she's talking directly to you and no one else.

That is why so many people resonated and admired Oprah! She really gets it!

Oprah grew up in Kosiasko Mississippi where both of my parents were born and raised....near Clarksdale Mississippi! Not much going on in that little town. But one thing I do know.....that little town produced the Queen of the Delta and for that we have all been blessed!

So many things she talks about on her Master Class on the OWN Network I can totally relate to, but I won't get into that....just watch....some of you will get it!

I know it's not goodbye because she has her OWN Network.....but I will sure miss the daily shows and how much I would get out of them! I am so glad I at least got to visit her show in Chicago about six years ago with my friend Lynda Stoller. She hooked us up!

I will miss you Oprah!

Monday, May 9, 2011

I Almost Went Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs!!!!

You know what some southern people say....If you don't have something nice to say.....just come sit by me. Well I got something to scoochie on ovah!!

Yesterday was just OK for me! I think it's just hit me that I don't live near my Southern
Sista's...aka...friends from Florida. I've just been a little funk that doesn't seem to be going anywhere for some reason. So my day started off with this picture taken before church!

Well...if you can see by the look on their faces....they weren't happy about taking the pic...but what else is new. Austin hates his picture made and makes it hard on the whole family when it comes time to take them. In fact...the soulmate took about ten and this is the only one worth showing due to his many faces he thinks is cute.

So after church...they wanted to send me to the mall to shop and have a girly day. Well....under the circumstances I really didn't feel like shopping so...I was thinking a NAP and chick flick sounded good!
Took the nap and went to see the new movie called "Something Borrowed"! (which was great by the way!)

So I was running a tad bit late and the ticket taker guy told me "no worries" just trailers still showing. He said..." if you need a drink the back concessions is open". So there was only one guy in line in front of me. So he leaves and I step up to hear the "Goth Chic" tell me...."Sorry I'm closed". I said..."the guy up front said you were open". She said...."well...I'm not!" Right behind her was a guy putting all a TON of popcorn in a clear big trash bag. I said..." seriously....I will pay you for a bag of popcorn"! She just stared at me and said..."well..that is all getting thrown away right now"!

I wanted to come across the Counter and go after her Goth self...but I remembered the sermon from earlier in the morning...that made me hold myself back. I said to myself..."Ok Missy Missy...this is not the end...but your crusty ole black eyeliner self is not going to make me miss my movie!

So afterwards I did see a Manager and he was just furious when I told him and he apologized profusely and little Miss Goth was SHO GONNA have some "splainin" to do!. He said...I know exactly who it was and I will take care of it .."I assure you!" He offered me a free pass...but I declined. I wanted him to know I was serious....not just complaining for the heck of it!

So I never got my popcorn...and I will try not to let that ruin my Monday!)But
Sista did get her point across!

Friday, May 6, 2011

Missing Me Some Southern Properrrrrrr Etiquetttes!


I have to say that THIS WEEK....I am truly homesick to be back in Florida. It has been the worse week I can remember EVAH! Now..I am not one to complaina ..(that's really a joke!) but I will confess that some of the "status quo" people annoy the heck out of me!!! I mean Keep It Real or step aside. Get an opinion and get your butt off the fence!!!

When I asked to do something...I do it! I don't take six polls from people and ask them what I should do. If I didn't want to do it I wouldn't have told you I would do it. Oh....those days of over committing are gone. If I accept a don't have to keep emailing me I'm on it. Uhhmmmm...has any one guessed it by now?

Have you ever known a "Control Freak"? Well....since I am being honest...."I can say that I have suffered from this in the I guess it takes one to know one". But in my defense....I've had to deal with people with people with various addictions which required me to step up my game...just a tad!

What's the difference between people out West versus the are just a few things:

1) Southern folks don't need a governing committee to oversee a task...."Just One Good Southern Mama In Charge will do! Trust me ...she can HANDLE IT! And if she can't ...She'll pay good money to have it DONE RIGHT by somebody who can.

2) I've been told that people out West like to keep it "Simple".  Keeping it "Simple" to a Southern Mama is disturbing and unproductive. Who want's to be like everybody else....that's boring as ALL GET OUT! No Southern Mama wants be like the lady down the street!

3) The women in the to look "au Naturelle". Well Jesus Lord How Mercy....Southern women can be "au Naturelle".....but lets be real. We do throw on a little powder and lip tint with a smidgen of blush and still call ourselves that. A true Southern Mama never leaves the house without lookin in the mirror. (We just tell a little white lie...and say we don't have any on!)

4)  Women out West like to tell people they are going to put their Yoga pants on and go to the gym. A Southern Mama gets up and gets dressed for Yoga but doesn't leave the house. Our house has got to be in order before we get to "those other distracting things in working out!"

5)  Most of the women I've met are so self absorbed that they don't volunteer for anything....and if they do....the bring in bottled water or desserts....something they can buy and not put in time or effort into. (A Southern Mama.....calls them slackers!)

6) Women in the West also like their hair rather on the flat side and not colored with roots showing at least two inches down their head. A Southern Mama will miss her gyno appointment in order to get her hair colored.

7) I have never seen women with such ugly feet! I don't know quite how to explain this. People are wearing flip flops right now who desperately need to pay some attention to their feet. This just grosses me out.....nuff said!!

So there you have me....I'm not stopping because I can't think of more! There's a ton more to say....but I'm a 20 percenter Southern Mama who's gotta quit blogging because I gotta get to getting some work done. Cuz the other 80 percent of the Mama's...."are busy" and they don't have time to do anything but complain about what the 20 percenters are doing.

I miss my Southern Mama friends who like to do things right. Do you know one! I KNOW MANY....I am so missing them right now!